Faith is not only beautiful, but also incredibly witty. Here is a compilation of some of her most amusing, poignant, and truthful sayings. A few of these have soundbytes so you can hear them straight from Faith herself. Those that can be listened to have captions in bright red.
"Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?"
"Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at me or humpin' my leg,
we're five-by-five, you know?"
Buffy: Ummm, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles.
Faith: I see him. If I'd have known they came *that* young and cute, I
would've requested a transfer.
"You guys are a hoot and a half. If I'd had friends like you in
high school, I... probably still would've dropped out. But I might've been sad about it,
you know?"
"Gee, if doing violence to vampires upsets you, I think you're in the wrong line of work!"
Faith: All men are beasts, Buffy.
Buffy: Ok, I was hoping not to get that cynical until I was at least 40
Faith: It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from...
Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't care
how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.
Giles: Uh, I wish we had time to celebrate properly. However, we have two victims: Jeff Orkin and, uh, now Platt. Uh, maybe there's something they had in common.
Faith: Missing internal organs.
"Come on, we'll find a couple studs, we'll use 'em, and discard 'em. That's always fun."
"Scott? There you are, honey! Hey, good news. The doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the burning should clear up, (puts her hands on his chest) but we gotta keep using the ointment."
Revelations
Buffy: Synchronized slaying.
Faith: New Olympic category.
"Ronnie, deadbeat. Steve, klepto. Kenny, drummer. Eventually, I just had to face up to my destiny as a loser magnet."
"You boinked the undead... what's that like?"
"I'm telling you, I don't need a new watcher. No offense lady, but I just have this problem with authority figures. They end up kinda dead."
"Excuse me Mary Poppins, but you don't seem to be listening."
"You're confused, Twinkie. Let me clear you up. (gesturing) Vampire, Slayer. Dead vampire."
"I'm on my side - and that's enough"
Amends
Buffy:I like the lights.
Faith: Yeah, tis the season. Whatever that means.
The Zeppo
Faith: She got me really wound up. A fight like that and no kill. I'm about ready to pop.
Xander: Really? Pop?
Faith: You up for it?
Xander: Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up. It's just um... I've never been up with people before.
Faith: Just relax. Take your pants off.
Xander: Those two concepts are antithetical.
Faith: Don't worry, I'll steer you around the curves.
"That was great. I gotta shower."
Bad Girls
"Slaying is what we're built for. If you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong."
"Tell me you don't get off on this!"
"Tell me if you don't get in a good slaying, after a while you just
start itching for some vamp to show up so you can give him a good uhhh."
Buffy: Faith, you don't get it. You killed a man.
Faith: No, you don't get it. I don't care.
Cop: Good, now cuff 'em.
Faith: I like him. He's butch.
Faith: Nicely diverted, B.
Buffy: Diverted? That was me fighting for my life, Miss Attention-Span.
Faith: This isn't a Tupperware party, it's a little hard to plan.
"When are you gonna get this B? The life of a Slayer is very simple. Want. Take. Have."
"I don't know what's down there, but I want to find out. And if you don't come after me, I might die!"
Wesley: Ahh. This is perhaps Faith.
Faith: New Watcher?
Buffy and Giles: New Watcher.
Faith: Screw that.
Consequences
Wesley: She's... cheeky, isn't she?
Faith: First word, Jail. Second word, bait.
Buffy: I know what you're feeling because I'm feeling it too.
Faith: Do you? So fill me in, I'd like to hear this.
Buffy: Dirty. Like something sick creept inside you and you can't get it out. And you keep hoping that it was some nightmare, but it wasn't. And we are gonna have to figure out...
Faith: Is there gonna be an intermission in this?
Faith: Yeah, you know exactly what I'm about because you have it in you too.
Buffy: No Faith, you're sick.
Faith: I've seen it B, you've got the lust. And I'm not just talking about screwing vampires.
Buffy: Don't you dare bring him into this.
Faith: It was good, wasn't it? The sex, the danger. I bet a part of you even dug him when he went psycho.
Buffy: No.
Faith: See, you need me to rely on because you're afraid you'll go over it, aren't you B? You can't handle watching me live it my own way, having a blast because it tempts you. You know it could be you. There's my girl.
"Finally decided to tie me up, huh? I always knew you weren't a one Slayer guy."
Faith: That thing with Xander, I know what it looked like, but we were just playing.
Angel: And he forgot the safety word. Is that it?
Faith: Safety words are for wusses.
Angel: Going down this path will ruin you. You can't imagine the price for true evil.
Faith: Yeah? I hope evil takes Mastercard.
Faith: You sent your boy to kill me.
Mayor: That's right, I did.
Faith: He's dust.
Mayor: I thought he might be, with what you standing here and all.
Faith: I guess that means that you have a job opening.
Mayor: No slayer of mine is going to live in a fleabag motel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liasions going on there.
Faith: Yeah, plus all the screwing.
Enemies
Buffy: Why Faith? What's in it for you?
Faith: What isn't? You know, I come to Sunnydale, I'm the Slayer, I do my job kicking ass better than anyone. What do I hear about everywhere I go, Buffy. So I slay, I behave, do the good little girl routine, and who does everybody thank... Buffy.
Buffy: It's not my fault.
Faith: Everyone always asks, "Why can't you be more like Buffy?" But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me?
Angel: I know I didn't.
Faith: You get the watcher. You get the mom. You get the little scooby gang. What do I get, jack squat. This is supposed to be my town.
"Look, I'm not so good at apologies, mostly because I think the world's out to screw me, so I'm generally more owed than owing."
Demon: Tomorrow, I get the books. Meet me here. Well, if the price is right, I give the books to you.
Buffy: Not really looking to trade with a demon.
Demon: And if this were still a barter economy, there would be a problem. I want cash princess. Five large for the whole set.
Faith: So you can buy, I'm guessing here, some skincare products?
"Maybe it's one of those unhappy childhood things? See, when I was kid, I used to beg my mom for a dog. Didn't matter what kind, I just wanted... you know, something to love. A dog's all I wanted. Well, that and toys."
"Before we get started, I just want you to know if you're a screamer, feel free."
"Don't worry, big guy. Just keeping her warm for ya."
"What are you gonna do B? Kill me... you become me. You're not ready for that... yet."
Mayor: What does this demon look like?
Faith: Demonic.
Faith: You don't trust me?
Angel: It's not that.
Faith: Hey, no problem. Join the club.
Angel: Look Faith, I know what you're going through alright. I know how hard it can be. It's important that you have somebody who's been there who understand what you're going through. Look, I wanna trust you.
Faith: Chump.
Choices
Vamp: You killed him.
Faith: What are you, the narrator?
Mayor: What happened to the courier, I was supposed to pay him?
Faith: I made him an offer he couldn't survive.
Mayor: You are one heck of a girl, you know that? I mean, the initiative, the skill.
Faith: Go on, go on.
Faith: Yeah, give me the speech again please. Faith, we're still your friends, we can help you, it's not too late.
Willow: It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know some people think you've had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo-hoo. Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste.
Faith: You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient.
Willow: And here I just thought you didn't have a come back.
Faith: You're beggin' for some deep pain.
Graduation Day, Part One
Buffy: There's a cure.
Faith: Damn. What is it?
Buffy: Your blood. As justice goes, it's not unpoetic, don't you think?
Faith: Come to get me? You gonna feed me to Angel? You know you're not gonna take me alive.
Buffy: Not a problem.
Faith: Well, look at you. All dressed up in big sister's clothes.
Buffy: You told me I was just like you- that I was holding it in.
Faith: Ready to cut loose?
Buffy: Try me.
Faith: Okay then. Give us a kiss.
"You did it. You killed me. Still won't help your boy though. You should have been there B. Quite a ride."
Mayor: Go home, take it easy. It's a big day tomorrow.
Faith: You gotta give me something to do. There's no way I'm sleeping. Don't you need anyone dead or maimed? I can settle for maimed.