I shoulda listened to my Watcher. She went on about some quote from Lord of the Rings - something about not offending Wizards. Said it was damn important. Said that crossing a Wizard could get me in "big fucking trouble". She got that right. Sometimes I wonder if she was a seer. I'd like to have seen her foresee this though - Faith the Vampire Slayer ending up in a world she used to only read about.

The Wizard in question was possibly the most unpleasant man I've ever met. Apart from my father, who was technically a man but only from the fact he had a cock. I don't count Kakistos as a man. He's an evil motherfucker vampire who, shit, there's no word to describe what he did to my Watcher. I tried to help her, but you can only take so long of someone screaming at you that it's too late for them, and to save yourself.

Anyway, this Wizard... He stank - of just about everything unpleasant you can think of. He swore his fucking mouth off - hell, I know I ain't exactly innocent in that respect, but there are limits, ya know? - and he leered at me like I was a Penthouse Centrefold with my legs behind my ears. Still, I did my best. I tried to be nice to him. I was fearing for my fucking life and would do anything to get away from that evil bastard Kakistos. Or so I thought. It's never until someone really scrapes the bottom of the barrel that you find out exactly what 'doing anything' really means.

Bastard prepared the spell before he asked for his price. I think somehow he already knew I'd refuse, unless he was always going to fuck me over the way he did. So he's prepared this talisman for me, and then he tells me. He wants my Slayer powers. If I'd give up my powers to him he'd make it impossible for Kakistos to find me. Failing that, he said, he'd settle for a blow job. Now, I might have gone for the powers thing if not for the fact that it would leave me defenceless if he fucked up and Kakistos did some how manage to catch up. But Oral Sex? On a man for whom personal hygiene is more make believe than fucking Santa Claus? I threw up. Hell, it didn't make the place look any less pleasant. He laughed at me then. At that point I had to run. It was run or kill the fucker... and I didn't fancy getting his unhealthy blood on my hands. Course, when I ran I took the talisman with me. That was when the words of my Watcher slipped my mind.

I stowed away on a truck that night. Figured it was good to get as far away from the Wizard as possible. I dreamt of three people that night. My Watcher. The Wizard. Kakistos. All three said the same thing. "Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger." That must've been when the talisman did its mojo. When I woke up I was in a different truck. It was packed with stuff you'd expect to send to a disaster zone - medical supplies, basic food, that sort of thing.

Late morning the truck pulled up somewhere. I could hear a guy I guessed was the driver arguing with someone else. Something about being on a mission of mercy. That was when I realised the Wizard had sent me some place else. I figured on it being Serbia or something. It never occured to me that I'd still be in the USA but in a different world. Once the truck drove on I figured I had to get out as soon as possible. Getting out the back would not be an option until the truck was unloaded, and I wasn't figuring on being discovered where I was. Slicing through the canvas was the only possibility. So that's what I did. Cut through the roof and jumped off the back.

Should've stuck with the truck. I saw it leave again, empty of its supplies, a couple of hours later. Christ knows why I didn't take a hint before then, but then how was I supposed to know what had happened to me. How was I supposed to know I'd ended up in Gotham City on the day they blew up the bridges and left the city to its own fate? How was I supposed to know I'd ended up in the place they'd come to call No Man's Land?