Torrance:"Hey Toros, double time, flip and skip and step in line!
Hey Toros! (ai! ai!) Hey Toros! (ai!ai!)
Hey Toros, triple time! Wait-I need to snort a line,
Hey Toros! (ai! ai!) Hey Toros!(ai!ai!)
Hey Missy you're so fine, you're so fine and androgyne,
Hey Missy! (ai!ai!) Hey Missy (ai!ai!)
Hey Missy you're so fine, won't you be my valentine?

Torrance: "She rocks my little world,
Her and her wallet chain.
Her thousand keys clanking
sounds like music in my brain
Says she's from L.A
But most likely Cockaigne. Missy!"

Missy: "Pro cheerleading takes skill
I never woulda known
If Captain Kangaroo
Hadn't staked, out my home
Every day she still,
Plays with my hormones.Torrance!"

(CHORUS)

"Oh Missy, what a pity, hope you understand
I have an STD so please use a dental dam."
"Hey Torrance, it's no biggie, cause I bought saran.
Now what do you prefer?
Spirit fingers? Spirit Stick?" (audience) Missy, Dykeadelic, Missy!

Missy: "I hope Torrance forgives me for,
Renting our pom-poms out
To the filming of "Buxom Cheerleaders on Scouts"
Hey wait, no one here on,
Any squad has pom-poms!
What the-?!"

Torrance: "Just c'mon and give it to me because I've got cramps,
Before your parents send you to the 'True Directions' camp.
Then let's go hang, out with Megan and Graham. Missy!"

(CHORUS)

"Oh Missy, what a pity, hope you understand
I have an STD so please use a dental dam."
"Hey Torrance, it's no biggie, cause I bought saran.
Now what do you prefer?
Spirit fingers? Spirit Stick?" (audience) Missy, Dykeadelic, Missy!

Torrance:"Hey Toros, double time, flip and skip and step in line!
Hey Toros! (ai! ai!) Hey Toros! (ai!ai!)
Hey Toros, triple time! Wait-I need to snort a line,
Hey Toros! (ai! ai!) Hey Toros!(ai!ai!)
Hey Missy you're so fine, you're so fine and androgyne,
Hey Missy! (ai!ai!) Hey Missy (ai!ai!)
Hey Missy you're so fine, won't you be my valentine?