"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

Pretty deep shit, huh? Certainly not something a high school drop out would be quoting.

But when you're in jail, you've got nothing but time, so you might as well "better yourself."

Turns out, the thing I really hated about high school was the teachers and all that shit. Sister Mary Margaret says I have trouble with authority figures.

Like I needed a nun to tell me that.

She's cool, though, for a nun. I see her once a week to talk and stuff. She doesn't talk down to me, or preach. She's good at listening.

That stuff Freddy says about the Abyss? It's true. I should know.

Staring into it and fighting monsters is my job.

Was.

At least the Watchers have left me alone. Guess they figure I'm no threat as long as I stay in jail.

Turns out that I didn't need to fear the cops as much as I did. They really had jack on me. Shoulda guessed from how the good ole Sunnydale PD couldn't find its ass with both hands.

Lot of that was the Boss's doing, of course.

Even after all this time, he's still the Boss to me. I know he was bad, but he was still the only person who gave a damn about me. About Faith the person.

At least the only person I didn't screw over.

What was going through my head, the night I went to him? Nothing. I later thought I was going to play double agent, that would be wicked cool.

Truth was, though, I was running. I was heading AWAY from things, not toward them. I needed to get away from B and the Scoobies... away from the Watchers.

Anyway, my trial was a joke. The only evidence they had was my confession. My lawyer, some eager beaver from the Public Defenders Office, tried to get me to recant, saying he could get my charges reduced to assault and battery, with some theft, which, because of my age, would probably just get me some juvie.

I wouldn't recant. Always rushing down the path, never backing up, that's my way.

{No, no chance. Jail!}

Even if I was running away again.

{You apologize to me, I will beat you to death.}

I couldn't die. Angel wouldn't kill me and it was like my body had a stronger will to live than I did. I just kept running and running... getting nowhere.

Now I'm here.

I confessed to killing the Deputy Mayor, I confessed to killing that guy with the Boss's box, I confessed to killing Lester.

I didn't say anything about vampires and demons. Why complicate things? Besides, the cops had a nice little theory about the Boss running guns and drugs from South America. That fit in their tidy-whitey world far better than giant snakes.

There was a lot of talk about my age, my confession, etc. I didn't listen to most of it. In the end, I got manslaughter and second-degree murder for Alan and Lester. Seems they never found the body of the South American dude. Only got 12 years, out in 5 for good behavior... something like that. I don't really care.

Prison life is BORING, but maybe I've had too much excitement in my life. It was like a drug, I guess. Now I'm on the wagon. How long can I stay there? One day at a time.

Still, it was tough. My first prison brawl happened only a few days after I got here. Some long-timer decided I was to be her newest bedwarmer.

I broke her arm. In three places.

Hey, it's a fact of prison life. You either fuck or get fucked. Hell, my whole life has followed that pattern. I may be trying to walk the straight and narrow now, but let's get one thing straight.

I'm one of the fuckers, not one of the fucked.

Sister's been telling me how to "channel my aggressive instincts." Yeah, I thought that was a load of bull, too, but it seemed to make some sense later... when she finally got me to sit still and listen.

I have my own gang in here. It's not what you think. I got plenty of offers from the druggies, the lesbians, the hardcore types. That wasn't what I wanted.

When I was in Buffy's body, I saved this girl from a vamp. It was no big thing. Stake and move on, as G-man would put it.

Then she thanked me.

No one had ever thanked me before. It was always "sacred duty this" and "your destiny that." There was the thrill of the hunt, the chase, and then you brought your prey down. No one thanks you.

But they thank B.

That's when the whole body switching thing fell apart. That and old beefstick saying the L-word. I found myself running... again.

Then I heard about that church and B was there. And I was stuck in the same old bod and I went running to LA.

Maybe the Boss set me up, again. Of course, I should have asked a few more questions about the poison. Maybe he didn't know that the cure was Slayer's blood.

It doesn't matter. My job was to keep B from spoiling his Ascension, and I failed.

I told Sister the whole story, once. She listened without batting an eye, even when I folded a metal chair in ways the designer never thought of.

She must have met something fangy at some point, that's all I can figure.

Anyway, she calls the gang my "flock of lost lambs." The other gangs mockingly call them Faith's Grrls.

They're the wimps, the losers, the ones who are too weak to stand up to anyone and they know it.

It wasn't anything I planned. I came across some druggies making a new girl miserable and stopped them. After that, they just seem to gather around me. I've taught them a thing or two about handling their problems, but everyone knows that to mess with them is to mess with me.

Funny how they don't bother my gang anymore.

Surprisingly, I don't feel the need to run any more. Everything is boring, but I have a place here. I'm not second best to anyone. I'm just me.

And maybe I'm starting to like that person again.

Should've known that's when life would throw me a curveball.

I was working out in the gym when I heard the screaming. At first I thought a demon was attacking, they were so filled with rage. Before I knew it, I was running in the direction of the screams.

Slayer instincts, gotta love them.

The guards seemed distracted, and I really couldn't blame them. Four of them were struggling with a new girl, a blonde. She was screaming bloody murder and.... Let's just say that the guards were losing. Losing badly, too.

Well, the guards don't like prisoners getting involved, so I just sat back and watched. Figured it would be worth a few laughs.

Then I got a good look at the girl.

B.