'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the night Not a vampire was stirring, nor even a fight; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

Mom and Dawn were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of rest and...Xander??? danced in their heads; And Mr. Gordo on my pillows, and I in my PJs, Had just gone to bed and drifted into a sleepy daze,

When out at the door there arose such a clamor, I stumbled from the bed to see who had the hammer. Away to the entrance, I was out for murder and more, Unlocked the locks and slammed open the door.

The moon shining down on the snow-less grass Gave the darkness of night to stone, metal, glass, When, who to my shocked eyes should stand, But a certain dark slayer with a wave from her hand,

And with a little playful smile, so fleeting and quick, I knew in a moment this wasn't St. Nick. More rapid than eagles the realization it came, And she whistled, and shouted, and called men by name;

"Now, Xander! now, Ronnie! now, Steve and Kenny! On, Scott! on Angel! on, Spike and Riley! To the top of the bed! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

Confusing was her speech as was her big grin to me, And I wondered if she might ask about that cup of tea. Her grin slowly faded as she held my eyes, With the promises of truth and no more painful lies.

And then, in a twinkling, she drew herself nearer Every moment, her figure closer and clearer. As I backed from the entrance, worried this was a new game, In through the door with a step she came.

She was dressed all in black, from her head to her toe, And her clothes were all leather and tight and cut low; A leather jacket she had flung on her back, And she looked like a goddess in the night's moonlit black.

Her eyes -- how they glowed! her smirk how taunting! Her cheeks were perfection, her attitude, flaunting! Her lush crimson mouth was testament to her gall, And her hair tumbled from her head like a waterfall;

The end of a candy cane she held tight in her teeth, And the sweetness it encircled her body like a wreath; She had a stunning face and legs long and slender, That drew gazes, tossed hearts into a blender.

She was hot and sexy, an impishly seductive elf, And I froze when I saw her, in spite of myself; A wink of her eye and a twist of her head, Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread;

She spoke not a word, merely stood where she was, Confusing me further; then smirking just because, And laying her hand palm up beneath her face, And blowing a kiss, she sashayed back outside with grace;

She stepped to the sidewalk, her boots sounding with a click, And my throat was tied tight, my tongue clumsy and thick. But I heard her exclaim, ere she walked out of sight, "Merry Christmas, B, and have a good-night!"

My frozen state, in an instant, it melted and thawed And I ran to her like lightning drawn to a lightning rod Spun her around with a single desperate touch Captured her lips with my own, though she managed to grin: "Horny much?"