And yet here was Willow, in my face, demanding to know how I could be so stupid. Well, fuck that. "I told you Willow," I explained as patiently as I could manage. I hoped she couldn't hear the strain in my voice- or notice that my teeth were clenched. For whatever reason, I still cared about Willow's feelings at that point. "It just happened. It isn't as if Faith and I have been going behind your backs or anything. It happened. It's over, nothing has happened since."

Willow, of course, wasn't happy. Her hand flew up to grab my arm. I jerked away reflexively, then grimaced as I saw the hurt look spread across her face. "What, I can't even touch you anymore?" she asked, drawing away from me. She took a few faltering steps back, then glared at me, tears standing in her eyes. "I really have lost you, haven't I, Xander?"

I was immediately remorseful for pulling away from her touch, but living on a Hellmouth and fighting demons with Buffy and my father at home put me on edge. So a touch on the arm generally sent me into a panic. Of course, the residual soldier instincts did nothing to help. But I just watched as Willow backed away from me, too stunned to actually speak. I'd never put that sort of look onto her face before.

At last, I found my voice. "Look, Willow, I'm sorry..."

"You're sorry? You don't even trust me anymore!"

"I do trust you Willow!" I insisted, advancing toward her. She backpedaled further away from me. Shit. "Come on, Will. Give me a chance! I said I was sorry. What more do you expect?"

The tears started to spill from Willow's eyes. "Why are you yelling at me?" she sniffed. God, she sounded pathetic.

"You were yelling at me!" I shouted my reply. Damn was I frustrated by that point. Was our friendship really worth this? I could get shit like this at home. I shut my eyes briefly, unwilling to voice the anger that was boiling inside me. She was my best friend, after all. "I just think you're freaking over nothing, Will. It was a mistake, all right? Is that what you want to hear? Will that make you feel better about it?" Okay, so maybe now I sounded pissed.

"No!" Willow protested- no wait, shrieked- in response. "Nothing will make it better, Xander. You had sex with that-that slut! And then you hid it from all of us, and I..." She trailed off, sniffing mightily before she continued. "And I don't know what's wrong with you, Xander."

I just blinked. I was shocked beyond belief by this sudden turn. Concerns for friendships and feelings flew out the window as I opened my mouth to speak again. "Fuck you, Willow."

Willow's eyes widened. She looked so pathetic, staring at me with that innocent, disbelieving look on her face, I almost felt sorry for her. Almost. "What did you..."

"I said fuck you, Willow. I'm tired of you. I had sex with Faith- and it was good. Even if it didn't mean anything to her, it was better than nothing. It was better than spending yet another night wondering why I was the only one sitting at home alone. As a matter of fact, it was really good. I enjoyed it. And I think I just might do it again."

"She's a killer," Willow reminded me. As if I could ever forget. "She killed that man. And set Buffy up to take the fall! How could you possibly want to spend another night with her?"

"Well," I replied, grinning. "If it means getting away from you, then I'm game." That said, I turned from her and started down the corridor. I'm sure she followed my departure with her eyes, but she was too upset to make any move. I exited Sunnydale High alone, in sour spirits. But I knew the perfect cure for those.

I practically jumped into my car and started the engine, and before I knew it, I was at Faith's. I squinted as I glanced up at the neon sign near her door, its trashy appearance actually bothering me for a moment. That feeling soon abated, though, and I bounded out of the car then to Faith's room. Drawing in a deep breath, I pounded rapidly on the door.

A moment later, I was rewarded by Faith's smiling face. Smiling. She must have been anticipating my arrival. "I knew you'd change your mind," she drawled, inviting me in with a wave of her arm.

I blushed as I recalled her earlier invitation. I hadn't mentioned it to my friends for obvious reasons, but now it was too tantalizing to pass up. I passed through the doorway then headed to the only available seat in the room-- the bed.

"So, what made you change your mind anyway?" Faith inquired, flopping down beside me. I gave her a withering look. Smiling, she took one of my hands in hers, then started to rub circles on the palm with her thumb. I sighed and closed my eyes in response.

"Which one?" she asked casually after she felt she had me sufficient relaxed.

"Willow."

"Ugh. I hate that bitch."

I opened my eyes, surprised. "I didn't realize you'd formed an opinion." Faith snorted, then pulled my other hand towards her. I tugged the hand from her grasp, then carefully crawled to the other side of the slayer, giving her better access. Faith gave me a small appreciative smile, then started the massage on my left hand. I let my eyes drift closed again and leaned back, so my head rested against the wood headboard. For the moment, I was happy reveling in the relaxed moment.

At last Faith stopped the motion of her thumb on my palm and wrapped her warm fingers around my hand. Then she lay down beside me, stretching her neck to face me before speaking again. "I don't like what she does to you," she explained casually.

"What does she do?" I was honestly curious.

"She treats you like dirt for one thing." I felt her hand tense in mine. Instinctively, I reached a hand out to brush a stray lock of hair from her eyes, hoping it would put her at ease. At last the tension in her hand decreased, but her eyes were still dark. "She's got to be the most judgmental person I've ever met," Faith continued.

I had to laugh. If there was one word to describe Willow Rosenberg, it was judgmental. Her personality had taken a serious turn once we hit our senior year- in the wrong direction.

Faith continued to bore holes into me with those dark eyes of hers. She seemed a little surprised at my actions. I vaguely wondered why, but didn't bother interrupting the silence to ask her. Finally, she opened her mouth to speak again. "She hates me. I can tell by the way she acts around me."

"She doesn't hate you!" I protested, pushing myself up on one elbow. Once I was propped up I regarded Faith seriously. Her hand was still clasped tightly in mine. "Look, Willow's a little strange when it comes to meeting new people..." I let my voice drift off. I pulled away a bit from her, feeling panic starting to seep in.

Faith watched me curiously at first, then reached out to me in concern, obviously noticing my agitation.

"What's up, Xander? Hey, look, forget it. Let's just..." She brushed her hand lightly across my cheek.

I clambered off of the bed, away from Faith's touch, away from Faith. I needed to get away. "I gotta go," I said, heading toward the door. "I'm sorry, I just have to..."

"Hey, what's the problem?" Faith hurried to my side, concern, and just a touch of anger, etched on her face. "Did I do something?"

"No, I just can't do this right now Faith."

"Oh, come on Xander...you aren't going all goody-goody on me now, are you?"

I flushed. "Faith, don't" Heat trickled down my spine as I felt her press against me. This wasn't right-not then, at least. "I have to go... talk to Willow." Faith's hand snaked downward. I exhaled quickly as her hand cupped my crotch. "Ahh..." I let my eyes slide shut even as my dick stiffened.

"You like that?" the slayer asked breathily, then lightly squeezed with her groping hand. I shuddered in response. "Yeah," Faith purred, tightening her grip a bit more. "You like that a lot, don't you?"

I couldn't take anymore. A deep growl rose in my throat and I lunged forward, targeting Faith's mouth with my own. Our lips locked and we engaged in a deep, frantic kiss as her hand continued its massage below.

Suddenly an image appeared in my mind: of Willow, staring at me with that sad, disappointed look in her eyes. My body instinctively jerked away from the slayer. I paused a moment to catch my breath, then stammered out an apology. "I've got to go, Faith," I murmured, brushing past her toward the door. I hauled open the door and ran out before she had a chance to stop me, skidding to a halt when I reached my car.

I tugged at the door handle, frustrated at my inability to get a good grip on the slippery handle. I squinted up at the sky and felt water pelt my face. Was it raining? Why the hell was it raining? I only shook my head, panic sweeping in everywhere it wasn't already harbored. The door came open at last and I jumped in, ignoring the downpour and Faith, who stood calling after me in the doorway. I had to get to Willow.

The engine roared to life in the car and I backed hurriedly out of the tiny parking lot, the tires squealing loudly on the wet pavement. I put up a hand to wave a quick goodbye to Faith, then kicked the car into drive and sped away.