Title:Pillow Talk, Baby
Author: Crack Monkey (yes, Kate Bolin)
Feedback:dymphna@ametro.net
Notes: this is random, these characters aren't mine, and you ought
to know that Kate on little sleep with a lot of stuff to do is just a
thing of *badness* Oh yeah, and the title is a Bruce Campbell line from
"Army of Darkness", because, well, damn!
Faith stared up at the ceiling, sighing. "God, you *suck* in bed!"
Angel turned towards her, his brow furrowing in a way only seen in
National Geographic films about Neandertals. "What?"
Faith looked at him, her eyes narrowed. "You. Suck. In. Bed," she
carefully enunciated. She looked back up at the ceiling. "And I thought
Xander was a lousy lay...."
Angel frowned even deeper, the brow ridges on his forehead crinkling. "What?"
She looked at him again. "What does it take to get it through your thick
skull? You suck. You're terrible. You're lousy. I could have had more
fun on a bus going over potholes than I did when I was fucking you!"
Angel's faqce turned solemn. "Oh! Right!
My...performance." He nodded. "The last time I was really
enjoying it, I turned soulless. So I learned the trick of having really
bad sex. Then I can help Buffy through everything."
Faith cocked an eyebrow. "You're a really lousy lay so that you don't get
fucked souless again?" She shook her head. "God, that's a shitty
excuse."
Angel's eyes narrowed. "Bitch," he said under his breath.
Faith looked at him. "Fuck off," she said, her voice loud. She set her
foot against his back. "Get lost," she said, pushing him off the bed.
"It's gonna take me at least five minutes to come, and with you around, I
might not even stay in the mood." She dug under her pillow for her
vibrator and closed her eyes. "Yeah, that's it. C'mon, baby, make me
forget what lousy sex is like."
The End
